Philosophy

The Job I’m Trying to Quit: My Own Thoughts

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Do you enjoy your work?
I’m asking sincerely — to everyone who wakes up, gets dressed, and logs into or walks into a 9-to-5 job every day.

I’ll be honest: I don’t enjoy mine.
And it’s not just the work itself — it’s the voice in my head that comes with it.

My Mind at Work

It sounds something like this:

  • “You’re doing a lousy job — they’ll fire you soon.”
  • “You can’t even handle the simplest task.”
  • “I’ll never be satisfied with you, no matter what you do.”

And on and on.

I know these thoughts aren’t entirely true, but they hook me anyway. They feel like honest assessments. Maybe we all do this — judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else ever could.

A Small Act of Kindness to Myself

Today, I tried something different.
I closed my eyes and let the difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions just… be there. I told them gently:

“It’s okay. I’m here for you.”
“Yes, it feels like a big, crazy, ugly world out there, but I’m here for you.”

Then I imagined giving them a warm hug.
A hug to let the feelings move through me, the way all feelings do — they always pass, even if we forget that in the moment.

Is It the Job, or Something Deeper?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s really the job.
Maybe my career has run its course. Maybe I want to escape the conventional 9-to-5 entirely. But the truth is — society doesn’t make that easy.

Capitalism and materialism whisper (or shout):

“You can’t survive without a paycheck.”

Even if I left this job for another, how long would it be before I got bored and restless again?

The Endless Search

I’ve jumped from one religion to another, one spiritual practice to another. I understand pieces of each, but something still feels missing.

René Descartes said, “I think, therefore I am.”
But for me, it feels more like:

“I absorb, therefore I am.”

I absorb books, ideas, teachings — yet I rarely stop to really apply or live them. There’s always another book, another thought, another search.

In Zen, they say that when you stop seeking, you might wake up.
Maybe that’s my challenge.

Maybe the Real Work Isn’t the Job

Perhaps the real work is noticing the voice in my head, meeting it with compassion, and learning how to stop the endless chase for “enough.”

Until then, I’ll keep showing up — not just at my desk, but for myself.

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