Tag: life
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The Black Cat on the Lotus Leaf
On restlessness, and what happens when you stop fighting it. — Some mornings begin in the loop. You know the one. You wake up, the mind is already running, and before you’ve had a chance to breathe, you’re watching yourself watch yourself — aware of the restlessness, aware of the awareness, going in circles. This…
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Space.
On emptiness, devotion, and what the 40s are quietly teaching me. I used to show up every single week for Naruto. Not casually. Not when I felt like it. Every week, without being asked, without needing a reminder. I hated it at first — the main character seemed lame, the art underwhelming compared to the…
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Three Kinds of Action
A field report from someone who finds herself doing things. This afternoon, without deliberating too long, I picked up my ukulele and played. No plan. No mood board. No productivity timer. The mind wanted to play, the hands followed, and that was that. Afterwards, I thought: why can’t it always be like this? And then…
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Perfection
On a bright Saturday morning in May, I wanted to write a short story about a cat and a duck. A quiet, odd combination indeed, but it just so happens to be an image from a jazz music video I was listening to that morning. I want to write about this scene on my screen…
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The Savior Somewhere Else
On ashrams, fresh experiences, and the loop that follows you wherever you go. I am still looking for my savior somewhere else. Lately it takes the shape of an ashram. I imagine going there and learning the meditation Shiva is said to have taught — gaining existential awareness, the kind experienced directly rather than through…
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Loops/Circles
I sat in meditation on Monday and noticed that I am always living from the outside in. Meaning, I am always focused on the outside world or environment. My thoughts, feelings, and emotions are outwardly directed. Maybe because I need to finish a task, and that causes anxiety in me. Maybe I have thoughts of…
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The Body Knew First
I’ve spent most of my life living in my head. Thinking, analyzing, observing, inferring. I’ve read Krishnamurti. I’ve sat in meditation. I’ve mapped out how the mind filters reality — how experience becomes observation becomes memory becomes inference. I’ve written about it, spoken about it, circled it from every cerebral angle I could find. And…
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How Do You See What’s Already in Front of You?
I’ve been sitting with a question that came out of my last meditation, and it won’t leave me alone: How does one observe things fresh — in the moment — without the inference of the same room, the same neighborhood, the same life? How can I increase the gap between raw observation and inference, so…
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The Anatomy of a Filtered Life
If I map out how I move through the world, it looks something like this: Experience → Observation → Memory → Inference Four steps. By the time I reach the last one, I’m no longer anywhere near the truth of what actually happened. Let me walk through it — through my own life — to…
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Act of Love
How can I tell my consciousness that people show love in different ways? The love shown on TV — the hugs, the kisses — isn’t the only form of love. An act of love. Can I make my consciousness become aware that small acts of love are the love a person shows towards you? This…
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The Job I’m Trying to Quit: My Own Thoughts
Do you enjoy your work?I’m asking sincerely — to everyone who wakes up, gets dressed, and logs into or walks into a 9-to-5 job every day. I’ll be honest: I don’t enjoy mine.And it’s not just the work itself — it’s the voice in my head that comes with it. My Mind at Work It…
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The Warmth That Visits
Finding intelligence that’s calming, soothing.Sometimes intelligence may feel like waves crashing on a rock.But most of the time, intelligence is peace.Peace, tranquility, joy. Can you give me serenity, intelligence? I pray for it.I pray you will allow gentleness to flow through me.Kindness. Compassion. Humility. Confidence. Joy. Life is intelligence in motion.We might wonder, where is…
memajuve 