In my 40s, I had my midlife crisis. And today, for the first time in a long time, I have decided on something I want to stick with for the rest of my life.

There was a video on Instagram about how many years I may have left — if God allows — illustrated with a measuring tape. The person in the video explained that 45 years have already passed, and cut that portion of the tape off, letting it fall away. What remains is the rest of my life.

It made me more aware — perhaps for the first time clearly — of how I have been living so far, and the decision I need to make about how I want to live from here on.

I used to think society, money, job, health — these were the causes of my misery. But I realized the real cause was something else entirely: I was stuck. I had no clear direction. No clarity.

I have been carrying my past like a sack of clothes on my back, all this time. Today, I decided to drop it. To live from now on free of past worries, old loops, old patterns.

Of course, the fear that these patterns will return is always there. They have become habits — years of conditioning, grooved deep. But every time they resurface, I need to remember the decision I made today. And drop the baggage again. And again. Repeatedly, until new neural pathways form. Until the mind rewires itself around a different way of being.

Neuroplasticity — I am going to give it everything I have and verify it for myself.

Goodbye, old me.

Welcome, new me.