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The Black Cat on the Lotus Leaf
On restlessness, and what happens when you stop fighting it. — Some mornings begin in the loop. You know the one. You wake up, the mind is already running, and before you’ve had a chance to breathe, you’re watching yourself watch yourself — aware of the restlessness, aware of the awareness, going in circles. This…
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Space.
On emptiness, devotion, and what the 40s are quietly teaching me. I used to show up every single week for Naruto. Not casually. Not when I felt like it. Every week, without being asked, without needing a reminder. I hated it at first — the main character seemed lame, the art underwhelming compared to the…
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Three Kinds of Action
A field report from someone who finds herself doing things. This afternoon, without deliberating too long, I picked up my ukulele and played. No plan. No mood board. No productivity timer. The mind wanted to play, the hands followed, and that was that. Afterwards, I thought: why can’t it always be like this? And then…
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The Writer Cat and the Curious Man
Pitter patter pat pat pit pit Rain falls on the grass The black cat who loves writing Continues this activity as if unaware of the rain Pitter patter pit pat Louder and louder the rain gets The cat still absorbed in his own world Is this flow? A bystander wondered As he stood heavily drenched…
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Perfection
On a bright Saturday morning in May, I wanted to write a short story about a cat and a duck. A quiet, odd combination indeed, but it just so happens to be an image from a jazz music video I was listening to that morning. I want to write about this scene on my screen…
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The Savior Somewhere Else
On ashrams, fresh experiences, and the loop that follows you wherever you go. I am still looking for my savior somewhere else. Lately it takes the shape of an ashram. I imagine going there and learning the meditation Shiva is said to have taught — gaining existential awareness, the kind experienced directly rather than through…
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The Circle and the Center
Everyone is walking from the periphery of a circle to the center. But every single person’s path to the center is different. It is not a straight line but a crooked path. That center is death — or a place where everyone is equal. The paths traveled are filled with mountains and valleys. Everyone must…
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My Suno AI music channel
Hear my quirky songs here – https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLi9dN9JyrfGvzo43W_lIHmXJVTffWGyIl
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The Measuring Tape
In my 40s, I had my midlife crisis. And today, for the first time in a long time, I have decided on something I want to stick with for the rest of my life. There was a video on Instagram about how many years I may have left — if God allows — illustrated with…
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Loops/Circles
I sat in meditation on Monday and noticed that I am always living from the outside in. Meaning, I am always focused on the outside world or environment. My thoughts, feelings, and emotions are outwardly directed. Maybe because I need to finish a task, and that causes anxiety in me. Maybe I have thoughts of…
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Contradiction
Have you ever wanted two completely opposite things at the same time — and both felt completely true? I want to be productive. But I also desperately want peace. I want to make money. But I honestly don’t know how yet — and sitting with that not-knowing is uncomfortable. I want to be loving, caring,…
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Koan – on name
In your mind Name a person who you hold dear. Think of all the emotions, feelings, behaviors, memories and how the person makes you feel, their face, their voice, a specific memory, how your body feels when thinking of them Now convert this name to a jumbled 16-character name. Store all the things associated with…
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